Thursday, May 27, 2010
Hello Human Beings.
( I love you all )
I freaking got a job in A*STAR. Wanna know more bout it?
Position: Laboratory Specialist
Company: Biopolis, BSF, Histopathology Lab
Working hours: Mon-Thurs: 8.30am till 6pm, Fri: 8.30am till 5.30pm. No work on Weekends.
There are alot of benefits, and when the lady was telling me all the benefits and stuffs i was like smiling to myself. Like some idiot. Seriously, no kidding. They got like sick leave, school leave, exam leave all. Like wow. Okay, then next top news in my life.
You know all that talk about university and stuff. Apparently, I realised that if i were to take a loan and go Australia in 2013, I'll be in debt for like the next 10 years in my life. I'll be like 33. Thats sad. So, I realised that why waste my time in Singapore, might as well study here. Then i was like Part-Time studies. So yeah. I'm doing my Bachelors of Biomedical Science (hons) offered by Universty of Wales. And this i get into direct admission into the final year. So by my 21st bday next year, I'll be a degree holder. Then i can work till say 2014, and go Australia in 2015 for Masters. Or better, go NUS for masters.
Well, for that I'll see what the future holds. For now, work and study. Alot in my plate. But i think i need this right now. It's just a year. I can deal with it. (: I just wanna make my parents and brother proud of me. I know they are proud that I'm currently a Diploma holder, and i def know that they are proud of me for getting a job in A*STAR. I hope i can continue making them proud when i get my degree and all that. I love my family so much. I thank them for the support, and not forgetting Mathan and all my friends. Thank you! (:
Love yall.
Well, I know that it's all over fb, my msn nick. But I can't help it, cus i'm happy. (:
Cloud (nine), bye.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Relationships are delicate. Both people have to be on the same page. Both people have to be at the same point in their lives, wanting the same things. Cant have any doubts or reservations. Do something too early, and you can taint it. Jump in too quick, you can screw things up. Wait too long, it may be too late. There are so many other variables besides who the person is..you have to consider who they are now, who they will be in the future, if you have the potential as a couple to grow together..are you on the same page and will you continue to be?
He will stay here, working, and I keep talking about my big dreams…we will both end up hurt..I will want him to come with me, and he wont be able to, wont want to..he would want me to stay in Pittsburgh, or even assume I would be moving back to Pittsburgh after New York, which maybe isn't the case.
via Le Love.
Hello.
Wednesday: Interview with A*STAR, then met Rekha after that. I saw Felicia at the interview as well.
Thursday: Skin center to remove the stitches. Doc said it was just abnormal growth of skin, nothing dangerous. After which i met Mathan. Went to check out the Raffles college. And i found out that, with my results i can get into the final year of their Bachelor of Biomedical Sciences (Honours). Which means if i start in July, I'll be a degree holder this time next year, before i turn 21. How cool is that? But I'm still stuck with University of Western Australia or University of Wales.
Anyway, I also got a call from A*STAR on thursday, asking me to come down for a second interview on Monday. Super excited, hopefully i get this job. Felicia also got called in for the second interview. Apparently, only the 2 of us have second interviews.
Friday: Town with friends.
Saturday: Home.
Sunday: Cousin's ROM
Monday: Interview, Jas's b'day party, Vivian's bday!!
Have a rocking weekend yall.
My eyes are hurting now ):
You matter alot to me. More than the sky and sea. But leave if you must. <3
Saturday, May 15, 2010
LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more
Remember: The time to love is short
- author unknown
Met up with Mishal, Noor and Charles after the longest time ever. Hadi had a date, and didn't join us. Saded. So, we met at Yishun so Charles could drive us around. We went to Jalan Kayu for diner, after which we went to Lower Seletar reservoir, and hanged out. Ate ice-cream, cam-whored. Then drove over to some coffeeshop to use their toilets, and home. Man, i laughed so hard today. Laughed so hard, till i'm having migraine now. HAHA. But it was fun, seeing them after about a year i think. Miss working with all those asswipes(:
Anyway, since its 12am. Its SATURDAY. And i'm gonna be rotting home, hope someone asks me out or something. && Also since tmr's the 16 May. Happy 11th, hope you're reading this and remembered.
I don't know why, but for someone reason i feel sad. Like just so empty. :(
Maybe cause I've been coped up in home for a really long time or something. Oh well. enjoy the weekends people.
<3
Monday, May 10, 2010
I feel like running to somewhere no one could find me
&& I'm most probably starting uni with Vivian in September. I'm really looking forward to that. Part time degree and work. That would be a busy life. But i do like to keep myself busy, so i won't have to think about anything else(:
Tomorrow's my much awaited day! The day i was waiting since i joined RP. GRADUATION DAY!!
whoooo, really am excited to see all my friends tomorrow, and take lots of pictures. All gonna look so pretty/handsome. Plus chalet after that is gonna be a blast.
I might not be blogging a lot of this post. Because i'm gonna be returning the laptop to mathan. So, be braced. HAHA.
Couple of things i'm gonna do this month:
11: Graduation. Chalet
12: Chalet, go down to uni
16: 11th
20: Jeslyn's 21st. Removing stitches
21: Meeting jas,cheryl
23: Cousin's ROM
24: Vivian's bday. Jas's 20th bday party
I know it hurts, but it's life, and it's real,
and sometimes it fucking hurts.
But it's life, and it's pretty much all we got.
Saturday, May 08, 2010
I found this story online, and i cried while reading this. Read it
"" 1 year, 12 months, 365 days. A year ago right now I stood on top of a rooftop with him and he kissed me for the first time. I was such a different person, so innocent, so untouched, so unaware of how he would change me in the year to come.
But life happens, and suddenly you find yourself so far from where you've been. No warnings, no street signs, no one telling you where you made the wrong turn. From now on, every day will be a year since that day I spent with him: a year since I went to his house for the first time, a year since he brought me ice cream instead of soup when I was sick, a year since that photographer stopped us to take a picture of "the most beautiful couple he'd ever seen," a year since he left me a crying voicemail when his friend died, a year since I saw that look in his face and knew he was it for me, a year since he said I love you for the first time, a year since I couldn't say it back, a year since he left me, a year since he left everyone else. And soon it will be 2 years, then 3, then 10, and I won't even remember his face anymore and something somewhere will remind me of him and I will think to myself I really loved that boy.
A year since he kissed me, one month since he left me, two weeks, one day, four hours, seventeen minutes, and thirty-six seconds since he left us all. The hours keep moving along now, but the sun setting and rising, setting and rising is the only sign that time is still passing at all. I spend all my time at home; all I ever want to do is sleep. I don't go out with my friends, I don't feel like dancing, I can't focus on anything because I'm so goddamn tired of fighting that I've given up and I hate myself for it. I miss him, I have missed him, and missing him has become this dull aching hole in my chest, this feeling that comes in waves and bowls me over and makes me shake. I see pictures of him that make me cry and I think that I really fucked up and I wonder who I am and why I'm not doing absolutely everything I can to fix it, but then I realize that I can fix a lot of things, but his death is not one of them.
To every girl or boy or woman or man reading this: the biggest mistake you will ever make is letting fear of I love you stop you from saying it. I was afraid, but he thought that meant I didn't care. After a while, he gave up and it hurt him too much to stay. The only thing keeping me going when he left was the knowledge that he was the person I was meant to be with so in a little while, whether it be days or months or years, I would get another chance. I knew this so clearly that even when life felt so hard without him, I kept my chin up and the tears off my face because I knew he would be back. I forgot that life is fragile, hearts are only protected by a thin little cage of bones, people are born and die every day. I never once thought that I wouldn't get that second chance. I lived on it, it kept me breathing, and now that he is really gone I can't live without it.
So please, I beg of you, tell him or her. I didn't because I was afraid of humiliation, of getting hurt, of emotions so little compared to how I feel now. If I had said it he would have been at prom with me when it happened. He wouldn't have been the one picking up dinner for his mom so he wouldn't have been in that car and been at that intersection when that truck ran through that light and he would still be here. Please say it when you feel it because now the world is spiraling into chaos around me and every picture of what I was so sure my life would be like has been shattered and I need to do something to stop this from happening to anyone else.
It didn't have to be this way. It could have been a year since I said I love you back. It could have been 10 years from now, remembering where it all began on that rooftop, remembering how he always thought it would last a lifetime and, though I never said it, so did I. It could have been different, but it isn't. So I will just sit here and keep on breathing and hope that time will make each day, each month, each year a little bit easier to bear without him. I will keep trying to fit together the pieces of my life that I have left, even when the puzzles still a mess and I still feel so broken. It didn't have to be this way for me, and it doesn't have to be this way for you. Sometime in this life, the person who means to you what he did to me will be gone. Hopefully you will have time with them, time that I didn't have, but even if you do, it will happen sometime in the far future and when it does, the regret will break you if you never said it.
So here it is Connor, I like to think better late than never:
I love you. ""
Life is indeed fragile. Nothing lasts forever. Happiness doesn't last forever. Pain doesn't last forever. But we all need something as drastic as losing someone, or something to realise it. Most of the time, we just ignore the fact that nothing lasts forever, and just live in that moment. It's not wrong to live in the moment, but if we do that all the time, we might miss out on the other good things in life. Or take somethings for granted. Like how this girl took her love for granted. She thought he'll last forever. But in the end he didn't. Not all of us learn things when told, some of us needs to learn things the hard way. So stop! Stop whatever you're doing. Stop thinking that everything's gonna last forever. If you love someone, tell him/her. Don't wait for another time, cus that time may not ever come for some of us. Then it'll be too late. So, go on and tell. Stop living in the moment for once, and get out to discover the more beautiful things/feelings in life. We all deserve it(:
love doesn’t heal you or save you or rescue you or fix you. It accepts you and nurtures you and cocoons you and hugs you tight and holds your hand and never lets go and waits until you’re ready to take the plunge. It just loves you and makes all your pain a little bit more bearable.
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Oh yeah, i just got over with the surgery, or biopsy or whatever. It was painful as HELL when they injected the freaking anesthesia. But after that it was okay. I didn't feel a thing until i got back and wanted to sleep at night. I couldn't sleep all night because of the pain. So, some of yall might have seen it on my fb, but here.
I'm in pain right now, and i miss my good nights sleep:(
okok, dont get scared. Another 2 weeks to remove the stitches and to know what it is. Something to look forward to. As for now, i can't walk properly. Been limping around, and it starts bleeding a bit when forced upon. So, I'll just limp for now.
Graduation's on tuesday. Looking forward to that, and chalet followed by the graduation(:
Gonna be with my loves for Tuesday and Wednesday. Was suppose to go shopping with my brother and cousin, but i had to for-go cus of stupid feet. Then might meet my loves on Sunday, and manicure (if my feet permits).
Till then its gonna be home-ridden to recover(:
Take care! <3
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You’re deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke your heart. Remember the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.
